Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Salem....
Tonight I choose to not blog so I can check out a new show that is in a similar time frame as my fantasy novel.....
Monday, May 27, 2019
Hell or High Water
It rained a lot here today. Memorial Day 2019. I have tried for the past few years to make Memorial Day about remembering those heroes that we have lost and not about partying and celebrating. This was a success. All day we ran around wasting gas looking for a Bitcoin ATM and the ones we found were out of service. So apparently God said no bbq chicken or cigarettes today. Fine, fine. But can I at least have a tiny bot of fun? So God sent the flood for me to play in because I had no pool, no beach, no ocean. He gave me that.
What I didn't like was my husband getting super dressed and declaring that there is no God because of our financial situation. Ugh. I have to pray harder for him. It's all so frustrating. If only he would just tell his BOSS to pay him before he goes out of town to Hawaii and forgets to do it again. Or perhaps his BOSS just thinks that we can magically make food appear out of thin air, pay for insulin with no money, keep our phones on with no money. Maybe he doesn't give two shits, but I do. I have to pray harder for his BOSS too.
Bella refuses to go out and now she is farting like crazy. I have to make her go out.
I did start writing some of the outline to my fantasy story officially out today and in my head so far my ideas are awesome. I can't wait to flesh it out more.
Not a long entry tonight, it just feels good to be journaling again.
What I didn't like was my husband getting super dressed and declaring that there is no God because of our financial situation. Ugh. I have to pray harder for him. It's all so frustrating. If only he would just tell his BOSS to pay him before he goes out of town to Hawaii and forgets to do it again. Or perhaps his BOSS just thinks that we can magically make food appear out of thin air, pay for insulin with no money, keep our phones on with no money. Maybe he doesn't give two shits, but I do. I have to pray harder for his BOSS too.
Bella refuses to go out and now she is farting like crazy. I have to make her go out.
I did start writing some of the outline to my fantasy story officially out today and in my head so far my ideas are awesome. I can't wait to flesh it out more.
Not a long entry tonight, it just feels good to be journaling again.
 |
| People stuck in front of our house when it floods. |
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Rainy Day Woman #27
I am so depressed.
And now I'm more depressed because I wrote a whole thing about why I am depressed.
Basically it came down to because I haven't been journaling like I used to.
This is what I have left:
car to drive, my faith in the Lord, and I'm even wearing a pretty summer dress with my shiny ring on my finger. I know that I have people who love and support me. I know that my husband loves me for some unfathomable reason. I have ideas of how to make money.
I just want that damned BBQ chicken.
That is what is left of my original post. Ugh. And now, because I did journal, I do actually feel better and I don't want to rewrite the whole dang thing over again. UGH!
So, I'll boil it down for myself: I want BBQ chicken because I smelled it earlier and now it's stuck in my head but we're broke as all get out and I can't afford no stupid BBQ chicken. GRRRRR.
Still, journaling did help me. Still want that fucking chicken, but I'm at least not crying about it.
But it is Memorial Day tomorrow, so I guess I'll try to think of something thoughtful and patriotic to do.
And hopefully I can figure out a way to get $75 by Wednesday so our gas doesn't get shut off.
This anti-depression music on YouTube is pretty good too.
Stay away from social media. Everyone just tries to make their lives seem awesome and you'll always fail by comparison.
Except to advertise your businesses. And your love of the Lord. And funny memes.
That's my new policy.
And now I'm more depressed because I wrote a whole thing about why I am depressed.
Basically it came down to because I haven't been journaling like I used to.
This is what I have left:
car to drive, my faith in the Lord, and I'm even wearing a pretty summer dress with my shiny ring on my finger. I know that I have people who love and support me. I know that my husband loves me for some unfathomable reason. I have ideas of how to make money.
I just want that damned BBQ chicken.
That is what is left of my original post. Ugh. And now, because I did journal, I do actually feel better and I don't want to rewrite the whole dang thing over again. UGH!
So, I'll boil it down for myself: I want BBQ chicken because I smelled it earlier and now it's stuck in my head but we're broke as all get out and I can't afford no stupid BBQ chicken. GRRRRR.
Still, journaling did help me. Still want that fucking chicken, but I'm at least not crying about it.
 |
| I should be more like The Hound and just walk up in my neighbor's yard and demand all the fooking chicken. |
And hopefully I can figure out a way to get $75 by Wednesday so our gas doesn't get shut off.
This anti-depression music on YouTube is pretty good too.
Stay away from social media. Everyone just tries to make their lives seem awesome and you'll always fail by comparison.
Except to advertise your businesses. And your love of the Lord. And funny memes.
That's my new policy.
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